Happy trails!

I have been journaling for many years.  It started after a class I took at a weekend teen conference.  I think I began in 7th or 8th grade to write songs, poems, my thoughts and prayers in general.  After filling this last journal I went shopping for a new one.  It took me four years to fill it, not because it was that massive but because most of those pages were filled with prayers and for many months I had nothing to say to God.  I've spoken about it in past posts.  Anywho, as I shopped around for journals, I noticed a trend.  Most of them had scripture, something inspiring to say, which is good.  I noticed, though, that a lot of them went beyond that.  They asked questions, wrote out prayers, and while all this sounds normal and good, it disturbed me.  Now, I do not claim to be wise.  I don't have wells of wisdom to draw from and each day presents me with new challenges that leave me befuddled.  That said, I couldn't help but feel that these journals were leading me towards a "right" answer. 

I know, I know.  Jesus is the right answer.  There are blatantly right and wrong answers in this world.  I believe in absolute truth, I do.  And even though my Christian experience pales in comparison to others I couldn't help but wonder, "What am I supposed to learn when it seems like all the thinking is being done for me?"

 Now, like I said, five years ago these journals might have been exactly what I needed.  Everyone is in a different place in their walk.  Sometimes the answers don't come easy.  I also know that I am rebellious in nature.  Not the graffiti, break your curfew, get wild and break the law kind of way.  I just bristle when I'm told what to do.  Ask my husband, it's not a pretty trait.  Pretty sure it's not in Proverbs 31.  I'm also curious.  I ask why.  I don't like things figured out for me.  I like to explore and investigate the situation for myself.  It just felt like everything was so cut and dry.  Nicely packaged with no room for reflection or questions.  I don't accept things at face value and that includes my faith. 

I have searched the scriptures looking for the Hebrew or Aramaic root and meaning and I have all the big reference books.  That's who I am.  It's mind-boggling and in the end I still don't have all the answers, which can be frustrating.  That's  where faith comes in.  If I can figure out God then that means I'm his equal.  Hardly! 

Like today.  The verse in my journal is "Follow the way of love." It's in I Corinthians 14:1.  Not much else to say.  How do you elaborate on that?  Pretty cut and dry.  The response is either "Sure thing, boss" or "No thanks".  And even though the response is easy, what does that look like?  It's so different for so many people.  What we think is a loving gesture offends other people.  What is loving?  What is helpful?  What is the most Jesus-like thing we can do?  Even the following passages have caused debates, fights and church splits.  It's referring to the spiritual gifts, specifically speaking in tongues and prophecy. 

Now, I'm not looking to start a fight or anything.  I just want to point out how difficult it is be a Christian sometimes.  How easy it is to sit back and follow the way of doctrine or man-made rules.  If we can compare ourselves to those things, we come off looking pretty good sometimes!  And then Jesus comes along and messes all that up.  He doesn't throw out the rules, he makes them look so puny.  If we all fail them, the only way for us outside of Him is death.  Think on the rules you or someone else has made for you.  They sometimes begin with "Well at least I don't..."  No matter how much we try to dress ourselves up by following our own rules and comparing ourselves to others that we have judged, the Bible says "our righteous acts are like filthy rags" (Isaiah 64:6). 

Following the way of love is not easy.  It is not cut and dry.  It is not a single act but something we get right or wrong multiple times a day, let alone a lifetime!  I'm just grateful Jesus is there to get us all going in the right direction whenever we find a path other than Him and get totally lost.  With that in mind, you may insert any scriptural reference that inspires you to keep going in the direction of love (Jesus).  Happy trials trails!