My Magnified Funk

My last post was some time ago and it was about pizza.  I was contemplating writing about cornbread because I made a really good batch with my mom's recipe and maybe someday I will but I can't do it now.  I haven't written much because there was so much on my heart that I was afraid writing wouldn't fix it.  I was afraid that even after I wrote it out, it wouldn't be clear to me or you.  And maybe it's not clear now but I have to try to unravel things. 

We are starting over at a new church.  The uncertainty of change is not my friend.  Deep down I know this change is good, it's where God wants us to be.  Not that where we were was bad but it was like...well, it was time to go.  It wasn't like a shoe that didn't fit.  It wasn't like an old shirt with too many holes.  More than anything, maybe it was just us. 

Which brings another fear to mind: if I am the "problem," maybe we should just drop out altogether.  I mean, I could have the mentality of "it's not you, it's me," but if it's me, do I really want to inflict myself on some other church?  There is a brokenness that cannot heal in isolation. 

This battle has waged war in my mind for the last two weeks.  Am I worth another shot at church?  Sometimes I feel like I have so much to offer and sometimes I feel so broken that it's like people would just be carrying my casket around with them.  These are things I haven't wanted to write about because I haven't wanted to bring anyone else down.  I didn't want anyone to join in on my personal pity party (sorry for the alliteration) and I was so tired of myself and looking at myself and being sad about what I see. 

A pretty pathetic place (there it is again!) to be.  I knew what I was doing.  I was making my problems bigger than they were.  Of course, at the time I thought they really were that big of a problem.  I was magnifying my problems.  Zeroing in on myself and yada yada yada until I and my shortcomings was all I could see. 

Which brings me to Psalms 34.  It was the still small voice that I needed in the midst of all the chaos.  "Magnify the Lord..." 
Please leave your problems alone and magnify the Lord.  Make him so big that He is the only thing you can see.  It took some looking because it's not in the Message or the NIV or any of the other versions that have come out that I know of so I had to look backwards.  To the King James Version.  Inaccurate and flowery I know but bear with me.  It's what I remember while doing a stint in the Baptist church. 
Psalms 34:3 says "Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together." 
Honestly the whole psalm is a gold mine of encouragement if you're having an insecure day.  One of those days where you or others around you are just focused on how rotten life is and you can't get out of it. 

Psalm 34

New King James Version (NKJV)

The Happiness of Those Who Trust in God

A Psalm of David when he pretended madness before Abimelech, who drove him away, and he departed.

34 I will bless the Lord at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
² My soul shall make its boast in the Lord;
The humble shall hear of it and be glad.
³ Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
And let us exalt His name together.

⁴ I sought the Lord, and He heard me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces were not ashamed.
⁶ This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him,
And saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel^[a] of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him,
And delivers them.

⁸ Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
⁹ Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!
There is no want to those who fear Him.
¹⁰ The young lions lack and suffer hunger;
But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.

¹¹ Come, you children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
¹² Who is the man who desires life,
And loves many days, that he may see good?
¹³ Keep your tongue from evil,
And your lips from speaking deceit.
¹⁴ Depart from evil and do good;
Seek peace and pursue it.

¹⁵ The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their cry.
¹⁶ The face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
To cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.

¹⁷ The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears,
And delivers them out of all their troubles.
¹⁸ The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

¹⁹ Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the Lord delivers him out of them all.
²⁰ He guards all his bones;
Not one of them is broken.
²¹ Evil shall slay the wicked,
And those who hate the righteous shall be condemned.
²² The Lord redeems the soul of His servants,
And none of those who trust in Him shall be condemned.

 

Got this from www.biblegateway.com.  Again, not trying to push NKJV on you.  It just had the word magnify in it.  I'm going to try to remember the next time I'm in a funk.  And if you see me in one and you remind me that I wrote this, I will try not to be snarky but humble enough to take my own forgotten advice.