Devo Detour

So I thought today I would just tinker around with my blog and see what I could do with it.  Apparently the answer is nothing.  Since this is not my computer I thought I should stop before I ended up throwing it across the room.  Oh well.  I won't stop trying but I could definitely use a break. 

In my bible studies a couple days ago I was reading Psalm 119.  Not all of it!  That would be like trying to eat the whole buffet!  The verse my book pointed out was Psalm:119:76, "May Your unfailing love be my comfort, according to Your promise."  I started thinking about all the places I find comfort other than Jesus.  Food, chocolate (also a food but way awesomer), sleep, running, but mainly food.  There are instances when I get it right and have the sense to stop and pray.  Something along the lines of "Jesus, be a fence...between me and these kids.  Cuz if I get my hands on them right now..."  For a large portion, though, food is what I turn to.  It's kind of laughable to have this skinny girl be a food addict and maybe I'm exaggerating but I don't think so.  Chocolate, coffee, ice cream, sugar and food in general.  I hide it, I hoard it, and it consumes way too much of my mind.  I can eat my husband under the table and that's saying something! 

This verse, though, is a reminder of where my comfort should be.  So much easier said than done.  There are days when I can make it without coffee and chocolate but they are few and far between.  I can tell the difference.  I can also tell the difference on days when I go without my time with God.  Those are usually the days when I eat more and enjoy life less.  But not just this verse.  There is the verse before it as well.  This whole passage really.  Let me get it for you, starting with verse 73,

"Your hands made me and formed me;
give me understanding to learn your commands.
74 May those who fear you rejoice when they see me,
for I have put my hope in your word.
75 I know, O Lord, that your laws are righteous,
and in faithfulness you have afflicted me. 
76 May your unfailing love be my comfort,
according to your promise to your servant. 
77 Let your compassion come to me that I may live,
for your law is my delight.
78 May the arrogant be put to shame for wronging me without cause,
but I will meditate on your precepts.
79 May those who fear you turn to me,
those who understand your statutes.
80 May my heart be blameless toward your decrees,
that I may not be put to shame. 

Like I said, even in this passage there's a whole bunch of stuff to pick up!  I really don't care about who done me wrong or anything.  I mean God takes care of that.  I'm not going around looking for people for God to zap on my behalf.  But the verse about being afflicted is awesome.  Afflicted is defined as severe distress according to Webster.  It can be something as relatively simple as an embarrassment or synonymous with torture.  And maybe I'm not reading this right but here's what I think.  I think in verse 75 it talks about God's faithfulness, not ours.  The faithfulness to himself.  The God that knows the plans He has for me and he will be faithful to bring them to reality.  He isn't a god of I-hope-so's and maybe's.  He's a god with a plan and a way to get you where you need to go. 

Now, if you're like me, maybe you have thrown a fit or two along the way because He didn't look at your map and the plans you had made, let alone approve them.  If you're like me, maybe you even sat down on the road a time or two and decided you quit.  Maybe you felt like the one being zapped.  But you have an amazing story that's still being written!  Jesus also said, "Abide in me and I will abide in you." (John 15:4)  One of the meanings of abide is "to put up with".  It's not super holy and maybe this isn't what Jesus meant, but in order for us to stick close to him and stay with him on this unknown path that he is taking us down, we're going to have to put up with not knowing why He puts us through some of the things He puts us through.  I mean, if He can put up with my whining and complaining and questioning and short-sightedness, I guess I could try to put up with His almighty, perfect plan.  We are afflicted for a reason, tested and tried to come out stronger.  To come out like pure gold instead of the grungy stuff we are now.  Too bad it's a lifelong process and I'll never get to proclaim how perfect I am down here.  But to get to spend eternity with this Father who loves us enough to let us suffer a little in light of what he has planned for us?  I can put up with that.